


November Rain

by AstroLass



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bisexual Dean Winchester, Castiel and Dean Winchester Use Their Words, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Conversations in the Impala (Supernatural), M/M, POV Dean Winchester, Rating is for language (swearing), Takes place after 15.13 Destiny's Child
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-07 05:41:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26468101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AstroLass/pseuds/AstroLass
Summary: Jack spills the beans about Cas's deal with the Empty.  Dean and Cas take a drive and have a talk.  It's sweet and romantic.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 16
Kudos: 121





	November Rain

**Author's Note:**

> Time of year in Supernatural is always sort of vague. There's no reason that 15.13 couldn't have taken place in November, right?
> 
> This is for Drula. Watching her and all my other Castiel and Destiel loving friends being unhappy over what could be coming, I wanted to give them all something to lift their moods. But most especially for Drula.
> 
> Inspired by Guns N Roses' "November Rain" of course

**NOVEMBER RAIN**

If we could take the time  
To lay it on the line  
I could rest my head  
Just knowin' that you were mine  
All mine  
So if you want to love me  
Then darlin' don't refrain  
Or I'll just end up walkin'  
In the cold November rain

\-- A. Rose

I have no idea how long I stood in front of Cas’s door like an idiot trying to screw up the courage to knock on the goddamn door. I stood there long enough for my hands to get sweaty like some pimply teenager thinking about asking out his first girl. Or first boy. Whatever. I don’t judge.

It took me two days to get to this point after Jack spilled his guts. After getting his soul back, the kid just poured out everything, how he hated himself for not being stronger and able to protect everyone from Michael, how hard he tried to be good even after his soul was burned away, how sorry he was about Mom, and, oh yeah, Cas’s deal with the Empty. That stupid, loyal, self-sacrificing doofus traded his life for Jack’s, and, just for an extra kick in the nuts, the Empty would collect as soon as Cas let himself be happy.

I’m proud of myself that I didn’t get angry at Jack for keeping Cas’s stupid secret. Since our latest day trip to Purgatory, I’ve been trying to do better about keeping a leash on my temper, at least with the family. That’s why I waited two days before even trying to talk to Cas. And now here I was, standing at his door staring at the scuffs on the toes of my boots, heart feeling like a rock in my chest.

Cas must have known I was there because he opened the door the second I knocked. “Hello Dean. Can I help you with something?” He had a book in his hand and had taken off the trench coat and his jacket to sit in his room and read. Like he had been making himself comfortable. Like this was his home. The sight nearly made all my practiced words go out of my head.

“So, ah, uh, I was gonna take Baby out to stretch her legs a bit. Thought you might want to come along.” I sounded like a dope. I knew Cas wouldn’t care, but that didn’t help my confidence any.

Cas gave me one of those shy crooked smiles of his, the ones that put butterflies in my belly. “That sounds like a splendid idea. I’ll go get Jack and --”

“Could we not – I mean, I sorta wanted this to just be you and me. No Sam. No Jack. That okay with you?”

He didn’t argue. He didn’t ask why. He just put his book down on the table next to the door and grabbed his suit jacket and that goofy, lived-in trench coat that I think he loves the way I loved my Dad’s old leather jacket. “Let’s go.” 

I hadn’t checked the weather before coming up with this dumbass plan, and I pulled out of the bunker garage into gray skies and a rainstorm. That was okay, although it meant I’d have to watch the road a bit more than I’d planned on. We were in the Impala because I do my best thinking there, and my best talking. So yeah, driving in a rainstorm wasn’t perfect, but I was done with waiting for perfect. There was never going to be a good time or the right time or the perfect time, and with what was barreling down on us, if I didn’t do this soon, there might be no time at all. So rain or no rain, it was time to drive. It was time to talk.

I know all the back roads around the bunker like the back of my hand. I know which roads have easy curves and very little traffic, where a guy could just drive and get out of his own head for a while, and not have to worry about dodging around beat up pickup trucks or lost antiquers in their trendy hybrid wind-up toys. We weren’t going anywhere in particular.

About five minutes in, Cas pulled a cassette tape out of the breast pocket of his trench coat. It was the mixtape I’d made him, back the first time I’d thought about telling him. “I brought this in case you wanted music.”

“Awesome. Put it in and turn it up.”

A few minutes later, I was singing along with ‘Zep. A few minutes after that I nearly swallowed my own tongue when I realized that Cas was singing along too, belting out the lyrics to _Over the Hills and Far Away_ like he’d been doing this his whole life. Now, I can’t carry a tune with both hands and a bucket, but Cas? Cas can fucking sing. He couldn’t hit those high notes like Plant, but he took the whole thing down an octave or so until it sounded like the growl of Baby’s engine with lyrics to it and it was one of the best things I’d ever heard.

When the song was over, I hit pause on the tape player. “You never told me you could sing, dude! That was awesome!” I caught his smile out of the corner of my eye and wished I could take my eyes off the road and take in the full brilliance of it. I hoped he could see me smiling back. “What other songs do you know?”

“Oh, I learned every song on this tape. Led Zeppelin is your favorite band. It seemed a good place to start.”

Well, the only thing for it then was to run through the whole damn tape, both sides, the two of us singing along at the tops of our lungs – except when I stopped to listen to Cas’s beautiful deep voice rolling over the melodies of _Stairway to Heaven_ like . . . well, like a fucking angel, that’s what. Honestly, the whole thing was perfect and I almost didn’t want to say what I’d dragged him out here to say because I was happy, and dammit I deserve a little happiness. So does Cas.

But I’d hemmed and hawed long enough. Nearly ten years of hemming and hawing.

When the tape rolled around to _Over the Hills_ again, I turned off the music. It was raining harder now, but not so hard that I couldn’t talk and drive. “So, uh, Cas, man, Jack told me everything. He told me about your deal with the Empty. ”

The raindrops on the roof were loud as drums in the silence that followed. I kept glancing over to my right to make sure that Cas somehow hadn’t regained the power of flight and bamfed outta there rather than face what I know he thought was going to be a fight. But I wasn’t interested in fighting. “Don’t blame the kid. He’s still all messed up from getting his soul back, and he just spilled out everything that was eating at him, like keeping a secret that big.”

“Dean. I meant to tell you eventually. I didn’t want to add to your burdens and then there was never a right time,” Cas answered. Even with just my peripheral vision I could tell he was tensing up for an argument. All of that good feeling we’d just had was gone. I hated that I made him do that.

“No, I get it. I do. And I can’t say you were wrong not to say anything. I was pretty messed up from Michael, and then Jack lost his soul, and then Mom,” I said, swallowing hard, because what happened to Mom still hurt like hell. “I would have blown up at you, gotten angry, like I do. So you were right. Right to wait.”

Still more silence from Cas, so I filled it with all the crap that needed saying. “Cas, I’m trying here. Trying to do better. I’m trying really hard not to be such an asshole to you because you don’t deserve that, not at all, and I never want you to think you do. So now I know about your deal. And I’m not mad. I’m not gonna yell. I just wanna, you know, talk about it.”

“I wish . . . I wish you’d been able to tell me. I don’t want us to be like that anymore. I want you to feel like you can trust me not to fly off the handle. I want us to be better, to be, like, I dunno, partners.” I sounded awkward. I felt worse, like a drowning man flailing around for something to grab on to.

“Partners,” Cas said, the word heavy and weighty in his mouth. “Aren’t we that now?”

“Yeah. I mean yeah and no. We’re both stubborn as fuck and we both run off and do shit on our own all the time because we don’t want to be a burden to anyone and we don’t talk to each other and then we butt heads and . . . and . . . and I want us to stop doing that to each other. I don’t wanna waste any more time with us being pissed at each other.” I wasn’t saying it right at all. I flexed my hands around the steering wheel, realizing that I’d had it in a death grip while I fumbled around for the right words. “Do you get me, Cas?

“I think I do. I would like all of that too. Very much. But if you’re only suggesting this because you think my time here is short, well, I don’t think we have to worry about that. With what’s looming over us, I’m unlikely to be happy any time soon,” Cas responded.

“Cas . . . “ I choked on his name, wishing I knew how to say this right, wishing I knew how to tell him that I wanted him to be happy, that I wanted to be the one who made him happy. I almost left it where we were. Partners. Working together. Best friends. We could do that. That would be safe.

I was done being safe. Here, at the end of everything, with God as our enemy, I was finally done playing it safe.

“Cas,” I said again, screwing up all my courage because I was Dean fucking Winchester and I shouldn’t be scared. Not even of this. “Cas, I got something more to say. And I shoulda said it sooner, before you made this damn deal, but I’m saying it now, and hoping that there’s still enough bad shit bearing down on us that it makes you happy but not that happy and . . . . oh for fuck’s sake, I’m no good at this.”

“Just say it, Dean. Please.”

“Last time . . . last time you died, when I didn’t think there was any chance of getting you back, I was in bad shape. I gave up. I didn’t want to live, not even for Sam. That’s when I knew for sure . . . but when you came back . . . I was just too damn gutless to open my mouth and –“

“Dean.”

Hearing Cas say my name in that way only he did gave me the strength to say the words. “You’re it for me Cas. You’re the one who makes me happy. The one I want to be with. However much more time we’ve got before we check out, I want us to spend it together.”

The only response was the rain drumming on the roof. Cas was still there, but he was still and silent as a stone in the passenger seat, and I was sure I’d fucked up. My chest hurt like I’d been kicked in the sternum. Why the hell had I thought that Cas could possibly feel the same way?

“Pull the car over.”

“What?” I asked, surprised by Cas’s terse command.

“I said pull the damn car over.”

“Yeah, sure, whatever, Cas,” I responded, choking the words out around the rock that seemed to have formed in my throat. I quickly found a spot with a big clearing off the side of the road, where people parked in nice weather to fish in the nearby creek. I could let him out of the car here and then he could call Sam or Jack to get him back to the bunker and I’d just drive for a while until I could forget how I’d just made the biggest mistake of my life. I bit my lower lip hard enough to draw blood and shut my eyes so that I didn’t have to watch Cas get out of the car and walk away from me again, this time maybe forever.

I wasn’t expecting to feel Cas’s hand on my shoulder or hear the deep throb in Cas’s voice. “Dean Winchester, you are the most wonderful, infuriating, beautiful creature in existence.”

I opened my eyes and he was right there, slid across the seat to close the space between us, gorgeous blue eyes focused on me as if nothing else existed in the world. His thumb traced over my cheek and my belly was all butterflies again and it felt like hope. “Cas?” I hoped and I wanted so badly, I didn’t know what else to say.

“I needed you to pull over so that I could do this without your running us off the road,” he said, leaning in to brush his lips against mine. As kisses went, it was tentative, a little awkward, and very chaste. It was the best damn kiss of my life. “I love you too,” he whispered against my lips.

I laughed then because there was nothing else I could do, not with all that tension dissolving into relief and joy and yeah, a whole lot of lust that I could finally admit somewhere other than in my own head. Cas caught it too, and we sat there and laughed together like idiots until I leaned in, threading my hand in his hair, and kissed him the way he deserved to be kissed. There was nothing chaste about it. I stopped only when my lungs, damn them, insisted that I had to breathe if I wanted to keep kissing him. I fumbled with my seat belt with the hand that wasn’t holding Cas. “Back seat, now.”

“Dean, I want to, believe me, I want you more than words can express, but we have to be careful – the Empty –“

He was right, of course. We shouldn’t play happiness roulette, not ‘til we had a plan for dealing with a pissed off cosmic entity. “Yeah, I know, I know,” I assured him, leaning my forehead against his, wondering how I’d never noticed that he smells like a thunderstorm. “We’ll be careful. The goddamn Empty can’t have you.”

So yeah, I’m not ashamed to say that Dean Winchester finally got with his angel in the back seat of Baby and all we did was make out with our clothes on like horny kids afraid of their parents. 

Anyway, Claire, that’s the dirt and maybe pick up your damn phone every now and then so I don’t have to say all this crap in an e-mail. When this is all over, when Cas is safe, we’ll have a big party or some shit. You be careful and watch your back like I said, and give Jody and Donna and the girls a hug from us.

\-- Dean

PS: You start calling me “Dad” now and I swear I will kick your ass. 

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Listopadowy Deszcz](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26517874) by [red_archer_archangel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/red_archer_archangel/pseuds/red_archer_archangel)




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